|Watch Me|My Gallery|My Scraps|My Stats|My Watchers|

Isn't always a good thing... It can bring back memories, you'd rather want to forget... But sometimes.. Just sometimes... Those exact same memories, can also make you crack up in a huge smile, knowing that you in the long end, won the war...

I had one of these "old friends", who turned wicked, just like many of the others... She once told me, years ago, that I weren't "grown up", because I didn't have a car or an education, at my age...
At that time, I must've been... 18-19, years old? Ofc I had none of these things? She told me, that other people in that same age, would have their lives under control, at that same time, I had my life in a huge chaos... There was a big fight going on, between me and my x-gf and this friend, tried to stand up to her...

At that time, the only funny thing about that comment, was the fact that she said it to protect a common friend of hers, who I had an argument with...
That same friend, had failed too many classes and had to start over...

Now I'm 20 years old... Turning 21 soon... Next month, actually...
Still, I have no car...
But it's okay... I don't NEED a car... I don't WANT a car... So what? Having a car, isn't what makes me a "grown up"...
My life is all under control now...
I'm finishing college soon, starting on a new educational college after the summervacation, I've been with my boyfriend for almost a YEAR already (Man time went fast suddenly), we're living in an apartment and I'm out and on my own now, paying my own bills... My boyfriend have a job too and I have my hobbies and earn my way around... I almost literally SHIT money out and I'm not the most popular one, (Yet everyone I talk to in class, who I only merely know but are not close friends, likes me) but all the friends I have now, are the closest dearest friends, I could've ever imagined to have... :'3

My x on the other hand, failed her classes and had to waste another year in her school, she can't for the love of her family hold on to a lover (makes me happy, since I've been with my guy for a year or so), she has too many friends, that she keeps forgetting about the old ones and now she tried to have a year at home, doing nothing, because she wanted to have a job in a country struck by financial problems and her parents made her go to a farming-school where she takes care of cows... And she hasn't got a car either and barely no money... Poor as always...
All while I'm done with this years college and moving on, to a new life, on a new school, having a great time educationing myself in the art of making great computergames!! :'D

So no, I might not have a car, or half as many friends on Facebook... But I'm pretty damn sure, I have won the war!!

Yet I somehow wish her all the best of luck in the world and it pains me, that she's so entirely STUPID, that she fails her own life... :/ I really want the best for her and seeing her doing this to herself pains me... :/
But again, she's always been like this... If she can't take care of it herself, she whines a bit to her friends or her father and then she sits and waits, for her life to fall together by itself...
A pain, but it's okay... I KNOW, that some day, everything will go exactly as she wants it too and she won't have to PRETEND to be someone she's not... (Transsexuality isn't something you SUDDENLY discover, because all your FRIENDS tells you you look hot as a guy or because they tell you, you're totally having a guys train of thoughts, when you're 20 you damn disgrace on the whole transexual society! Even a friend in my class said, you're mocking everyone being REALLY transsexual, with your fake transsexuality)...
She won't have to pretend being happy, because her smile will be REAL... She doesn't have to PRETEND that everything is okay and under control, while nobody sees her cry...

I know... I just do...Or at least, that's what I wish for...
I love her, always loved her and always will love her...

I want her to be happy SO BAD, it's just such a shame, that she's fucking up her life so hard, trying desperatly to keep it all together... :/
But hey, it's okay... At least MY life is EXACTLY, as it SHOULD be!! *your move, karma*